Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
        The dress caught on fire
        And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section, and all.

There was a young lady named Hatch
Who would always come through in a scratch.
        If a guy wouldn't neck her,
        She'd grab up his pecker
And shove the damn thing up her snatch.

There was a young lady named Mable
Who liked to sprawl out on the table,
        Then cry to her man,
        "Stuff in all you can --
Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able."

There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
        By coming out bare
        On the main village square
And frigging herself with a candle.

There was a young lady named Maud,
A terrible society fraud:
        In company, I'm told,
        She was distant and cold,
But if you got her alone, Oh God!

There was a young lady named May
Who strolled in a park by the way,
        And she met a youg man
        Who fucked her and ran --
Now she goes to the park every day.

There was a young lady named Nance
Who learned about fucking in France,
        And when you'd insert it
        She'd squeeze till she hurt it,
And shoved it right back in your pants.

There was a young lady named Nelly
Whose tits would jiggle like jelly.
        They could tickle her twat
        Or be tied in a knot,
And could even swat flies on her belly.

There was a young lady named Ransom
Who was raped three times in a hansom
        When she cried out for more
        Said a voice from the floor,
"My name, ma'am, is Simpson, not Samson

There was a young lady named Ransom
Who was rogered three times in a hansom.
        When she cried out for more
        A voice from the floor
Replied, "My name is Simpson, not Samson."