Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady named Maud,
A terrible society fraud:
        In company, I'm told,
        She was distant and cold,
But if you got her alone, Oh God!

There was a young lady named May
Who strolled in a park by the way,
        And she met a youg man
        Who fucked her and ran --
Now she goes to the park every day.

There was a young lady named Nance
Who learned about fucking in France,
        And when you'd insert it
        She'd squeeze till she hurt it,
And shoved it right back in your pants.

There was a young lady named Nelly
Whose tits would jiggle like jelly.
        They could tickle her twat
        Or be tied in a knot,
And could even swat flies on her belly.

There was a young lady named Ransom
Who was raped three times in a hansom
        When she cried out for more
        Said a voice from the floor,
"My name, ma'am, is Simpson, not Samson

There was a young lady named Ransom
Who was rogered three times in a hansom.
        When she cried out for more
        A voice from the floor
Replied, "My name is Simpson, not Samson."

There was a young lady named Riddle
Who had an untouchable middle.
        She had many friends
        Because of her ends,
Since it isn't the middle you diddle.

There was a young lady named Rose
Who fainted whenever she chose;
        She did so one day
        While playing croquet,
But was quickly revived with a hose.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young lady named Rose
With erogenous zones in her toes.
        She remained onanistic
        Till a foot-fetishistic
Young man became one of her beaux.

There was a young lady named Schneider
Who often kept trysts with a spider.
        She found a strange bliss,
        In the hiss of her piss,
As it strained through the cobwebs inside her.