Freebsd Limericks

A gift was delivered to Laura
From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah;
        Wrapped in tissue and crepe,
        It was peeled, like a grape,
And emitted a pale, greenish aura.
                -- Edward Gorey

A gifted young fellow from Sparta
Was widely renowned as a farta'.
        He could fart anything
        From "Of Thee I Sing,"
To Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."

A girl camper once had an affair
With a fellow all covered with hair.
        When she gave him his hat
        She realized that
She'd been had by Smokey the Bear.

A girl of the Enterprise crew
Refused every offer to screw.
        But a Vulcan named Spock
        Crawled under her smock,
And now she is eating for two.

A girl of uncertain nativity
Had an ass of extreme sensitivity
        While she sat on the lap
        Of a German or Jap,
She could sense Fifth Column activity.

A graduate student named Zac
Was said to be great in the sack.
        An inch of his boner
        Put girls in a coma
And two gave them epileptic attacks.

A graduate student named Zac
Was said to be great in the sack.
        An inch of his boner
        Put girls in a coma
And two gave them epileptic attacks.

A greedy young lady from Sidney
Liked it in up to her kidney,
        Till a man from Quebec
        Shoved it up to her neck--
He really diddled her, didn' he?

A green-thumbed young farmer from Leeds
Once swallowed a package of seeds.
        In a month, his ass
        Was covered with grass
And his balls were grown over with weeds.

A guest in a household quite charmless
Was informed its eccentric was harmless:
        "If you're caught unawares
        At the head of the stairs,
Just remember, he's eyeless and armless."
                -- Edward Gorey