Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady of Gloucester
Whose friends they thought they had lost her
        Till they found on the grass
        The marks of her arse,
And the knees of the man who had crossed her.

There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what it meant
        When men asked her to dine,
        And plied her with wine,
She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!

There was a young lady of Lee
Who scrambled up into a tree,
        When she got there
        Her arsehole was bare,
And so was her C U N T.

There was a young lady of Lincoln
Who said that her cunt was a pink'un,
        So she had a prick lent her
        Which turned it magenta,
This artful old lady of Lincoln.

There was a young lady of Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches,
        And she often said, "Shit!
        Why, I'd give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches."

There was a young fellow named Locke
Who was born with a two-headed cock.
        When he'd fondle the thing
        It would rise up and sing
An antiphonal chorus by Bach.

But whether these two ever met
Has not been recorded as yet,
        Still, it would be diverting
        To see him inserting
His whang while it sang a duet.

There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
        She said to her beau
        "Just look at me Joe
I think I've discovered one more way."

There was a young lady of Rhyll
In an omnibus was taken ill,
        So she called the conductor,
        Who got in and fucked her,
Which did more good than a pill.

There was a young lady of Spain
Who took down her pants on a train.
        There was a young porter
        Saw more than he orter,
And asked her to do it again.

There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in a drain.
        They did it again
        And again and again,
And again and again and again.

There was a young lady of Twickenham
Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em.
        On her knees every day
        To God she would pray
To lengthen and strengthen and thicken 'em.