Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady of Natchez
Who chanced to be born with two snatches,
        And she often said, "Shit!
        Why, I'd give either tit
For a man with equipment that matches."

There was a young fellow named Locke
Who was born with a two-headed cock.
        When he'd fondle the thing
        It would rise up and sing
An antiphonal chorus by Bach.

But whether these two ever met
Has not been recorded as yet,
        Still, it would be diverting
        To see him inserting
His whang while it sang a duet.

There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
        She said to her beau
        "Just look at me Joe
I think I've discovered one more way."

There was a young lady of Rhyll
In an omnibus was taken ill,
        So she called the conductor,
        Who got in and fucked her,
Which did more good than a pill.

There was a young lady of Spain
Who took down her pants on a train.
        There was a young porter
        Saw more than he orter,
And asked her to do it again.

There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in a drain.
        They did it again
        And again and again,
And again and again and again.

There was a young lady of Twickenham
Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em.
        On her knees every day
        To God she would pray
To lengthen and strengthen and thicken 'em.

There was a young lady of Wheeling
Said to her beau, "I've a feeling
        My little brown jug
        Has need of a plug" --
And straightaway she started to peeling.

There was a young lady of Wheeling
Who professed to lack sexual feeling.
        But a cynic named Boris
        Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young lady who said,
As her bridegroom got into the bed,
        "I'm tired of this stunt,
        That they do with one's cunt,
You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young lady whose cunt
Could accomodate a small punt.
        Her mother said, "Annie,
        It matches your fanny,
Which never was that of a runt."