Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady of Twickenham
Who thought men had not enough prick in 'em.
        On her knees every day
        To God she would pray
To lengthen and strengthen and thicken 'em.

There was a young lady of Wheeling
Said to her beau, "I've a feeling
        My little brown jug
        Has need of a plug" --
And straightaway she started to peeling.

There was a young lady of Wheeling
Who professed to lack sexual feeling.
        But a cynic named Boris
        Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young lady who said,
As her bridegroom got into the bed,
        "I'm tired of this stunt,
        That they do with one's cunt,
You can get up my bottom instead."

There was a young lady whose cunt
Could accomodate a small punt.
        Her mother said, "Annie,
        It matches your fanny,
Which never was that of a runt."

There was a young lady whose thighs,
When spread showed a slit of such size,
        And so deep and so wide,
        You could play cards inside,
Much to her bridegroom's surprise.

There was a young lass from Surat.
The cheeks of her ass were so fat
        That they had to be parted
        Whenever she farted,
And also whenever she shat.

There was a young lass from Surat.
The cheeks of her ass were so fat
        That they had to be parted
        Whenever she farted,
And also whenever she shat.

There was a young laundress named Wrangle
Whose tits tilted up at an angle.
        "They may tickle my chin,"
        She said with a grin,
"But at least they keep out of the mangle."

There was a young maiden from Osset
Whose quim was nine inches across it.
        Said a young man named Tong,
        With tool nine inches long,
"I'll put bugger-in if I loss it."