Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
        But he hadn't the knack,
        And he got too far back --
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine.
        Concave or convex,
        It served either sex,
But oh what a bitch to keep clean.

There was a young man from Rangoon
Who used to lament 'neath the moon
        That he had the luck
        To be born of a fuck
That was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

There was a young man from Salinas
Who had an extremely long penis:
        Believe it or not,
        When he lay on his cot
It reached from Marin to Martinez.

There was a young man from Seattle
Whose testicles tended to rattle.
        He said as he fuck-ed
        Some stones in a bucket,
"If Stravinsky won't deafen you -- that'll."

There was a young man from Siam
Who said, "I go in with a wham,
        But I soon lose my starch
        Like the mad month of March,
And the lion comes out like a lamb."

There was a young man from St. Paul's
Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's"
        Till he grew such a passion
        For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.

There was a young man from Stamboul
Who boasted so torrid a tool
        That each female crater
        Explored by this satyr
Seemed almost unpleasantly cool.

There was a young man from Tibet-
And this is the strangest one yet-
        Whose tool was so long,
        So pointed and strong,
He could bugger six Greeks "en brochette".

There was a young man in Havana,
Banged his girl on a player-piana.
        At the height of their fever
        Her ass hit the lever
And: yes, he has no banana.