Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man from Salinas
Who had an extremely long penis:
        Believe it or not,
        When he lay on his cot
It reached from Marin to Martinez.

There was a young man from Seattle
Whose testicles tended to rattle.
        He said as he fuck-ed
        Some stones in a bucket,
"If Stravinsky won't deafen you -- that'll."

There was a young man from Siam
Who said, "I go in with a wham,
        But I soon lose my starch
        Like the mad month of March,
And the lion comes out like a lamb."

There was a young man from St. Paul's
Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's"
        Till he grew such a passion
        For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.

There was a young man from Stamboul
Who boasted so torrid a tool
        That each female crater
        Explored by this satyr
Seemed almost unpleasantly cool.

There was a young man from Tibet-
And this is the strangest one yet-
        Whose tool was so long,
        So pointed and strong,
He could bugger six Greeks "en brochette".

There was a young man in Havana,
Banged his girl on a player-piana.
        At the height of their fever
        Her ass hit the lever
And: yes, he has no banana.

There was a young man in Norway,
Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh,
        But the air was so frigid
        It froze his cock rigid,
And all he could come was frappe.

There was a young man in the choir
Whose penis rose higher and higher,
        Till it reached such a height
        It was quite out of sight --
But of course you know I'm a liar.

There was a young man, name of Fred,
Who spent every Thursday in bed;
        He lay with his feet
        Outside of the sheet,
And the pillows on top of his head.
                -- Edward Gorey