Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man, name of Fred,
Who spent every Thursday in bed;
        He lay with his feet
        Outside of the sheet,
And the pillows on top of his head.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young man, name of Saul,
Who was able to bounce either ball,
        He could stretch them and snap them,
        And juggle and clap them,
Which earned him the plaudits of all.

There was a young man named Crockett
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
        His wife was a bitch
        So she threw the switch,
And Crockett went off like a rocket.

There was a young man named Crockett
Whose balls got caught in a socket.
        His wife was a bitch,
        Yeah, she threw the switch,
And Crockett went off like a rocket.

There was a young man named Hughes
Who swore off all kinds of booze.
        He said, "When I'm muddled
        My senses get fuddled,
And I pass up too many screws."

There was a young man named Knute
Who had warts all over his root.
        He put acid on these
        And now when he pees,
He fingers the thing like a flute.

There was a young man named Laplace
Whose balls were made out of spun glass.
        When they banged together
        They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man named McNamiter
With a tool of prodigious diameter.
        But it wasn't the size
        Gave the girls a surprise,
But his rythm -- iambic pentameter.

There was a young man named Rex
Who really was small for his sex.
        When tried for exposure
        The judge's disclosure
Was "de minimus non curat lex."

There was a young man named Zerubbabel
Who had only one real, and one rubber ball.
        When they asked if his pleasure
        Was only half measure,
He replied, "That is highly improbable."