Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man of Calcutta,
Who tried to write "cunt" on a shutter.
        When he got to c-u,
        A pious Hindoo
Knocked him ass-over-head in the gutter.

There was a young man of Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born,
        And he wouldn't have been
        If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.

There was a young man of Coblenz
Whose ballocks were simply immense:
        It took forty-four draymen,
        A priest and three laymen
To carry them thither and thence.

There was a young man of Darjeeling
Whose cock reached up to the ceiling.
        In the electric light socket,
        He'd put it and rock it--
Oh God!  What a wonderful feeling!

There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes.
        His tool when at ease,
        Hung down to his knees,
Oh, what must it be when it rises!

There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different sizes.
        One was so small,
        It was nothing at all;
The other took numerous prizes.

There was a young man of Dumfries
Who said to his girl, "If you please,
        It would give me great bliss
        If, while playing with this,
You would pay some attention to these!"

There was a young man of Greenwich
Whose balls were all covered with spinach.
        So long was his tool
        That it wound round a spool,
And he let it out inach by inach.

There was a young man of high station
Who was found by a pious relation
        Making love in a ditch
        To -- I won't say a bitch --
But a woman of no reputation.

There was a young man of Khartoum,
The strength of whose balls was his doom.
        So strong was his shootin',
        The third law of Newton
Propelled the poor chap to the Moon.