Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man who said "God,
I find it exceedingly odd,
        That the willow oak tree
        Continues to be,
When there's no one about in the Quad."

"Dear Sir, your astonishment's odd,
For I'm always about in the Quad;
        And that's why the tree,
        Continues to be,"
Signed "Yours faithfully, God."

There was a young man with a fiddle
Who asked of his girl, "Do you diddle?"
        She replied, "Yes, I do,
        But prefer to with two --
It's twice as much fun in the middle."

There was a young man with a prick
Which into his wife he would stick
        Every morning and night
        If it stood up all right --
Not a very remarkable trick.

His wife had a nice little cunt:
It was hairy, and soft, and in front,
        And with this she would fuck him,
        Though sometimes she'd suck him --
A charming, if commonplace, stunt.

There was a young man with one foot
Who had a very long root.
        If he used this peg
        As an extra leg
Is a question exceedingly moot.

There was a young miss from Johore
Who'd lie on a mat on the floor;
        In a manner uncanny
        She'd wobble her fanny,
And drain your nuts dry to the core.

There was a young monk from Siberia
Whose life got drearia' and drearia'
        Till he did to a nun
        What shouldn't be done
And made her a mother superia'.

There was a young monk from Tibet
And this is the damnedest one yet
        His cock was so long
        And incredibly strong
That he buggered six Greeks en brochette.

There was a young monk in Siberia,
Whose morals were very inferior,
        He jumped on a nun
        Which he shouldn't have done,
And now she's a Mother Superior.

There was a young monk of Dundee
Who complained that it hurt him to pee,
        He said, "Pax vobiscum,
        Now why won't the piss come?
I'm afraid I've the c-l-a-p."

There was a young parson of Harwich,
Tried to grind his betrothed in a carriage.
        She said, "No, you young goose,
        Just try self-abuse.
And the other we'll try after marriage."