Freebsd Limericks

There was a young royal marine,
Who tried to fart "God Save the Queen".
        When he reached the soprano
        Out came only guano
And his britches weren't fit to be seen.

There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who remarked to his girl, "You're a tight one."
        She replied, "'Pon my soul,
        You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."

There was a young sapphic named Anna
Who stuffed her friend's cunt with banana,
        Which she sucked, bit by bit,
        From her partner's warm slit,
In the most approved lesbian manner.

There was a young Scot in Madrid
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
        When they said, "Are you faint?"
        He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."

There was a young soldier from Munich
Whose penis hung down past his tunic,
        And their chops girls would lick
        When they thought of his prick,
But alas! he was only a eunuch.

There was a young sportsman named Peel
Who went for a trip on his wheel;
        He pedalled for days
        Through crepuscular haze,
And returned feeling somewhat unreal.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young squaw of Wohunt
Who possessed a collapsible cunt.
        It had many odd uses,
        Produced no papooses,
And fitted both giant and runt.

There was a young student from Yale
Who was getting his first piece of tail.
        He shoved in his pole,
        But in the wrong hole,
And a voice from beneath yelled: "No sale!"

There was a young trollop at Yale,
Who had verses tattooed on her tail,
        And on her behind,
        For the sake of the blind,
A duplicate version in Braille.

There was a young whore from Kaloo
Who filled her vagina with glue.
        She said with a grin,
        "If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out again too!"