Freebsd Limericks

There was an old harlot from Dijon
Who in her old age got religion.
        "When I'm dead & gone,"
         Said she, "I'll take on
The Father, the Son, and the Pigeon."

There was an old hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
        He said "I'll admit
        I'm a bit of a shit,
But look at the money I save."

There was an old lady of Bingly
Who wailed, "I do hate to sleep singly.
        I thought I had got
        A bloke for my twat,
But he seems rather queenly than kingly."

There was an old lady of Glascow,
Whose party proved quite a fiasco.
        At nine-thirty, about,
        The lights all went out,
Through a lapse on the part of the Gas Co.

There was an old lady of Kewry
Whose cunt was a `lusus naturae':
        The `introitus vaginae',
        Was unnaturally tiny,
And the thought of it filled her with fury.

There was an old lady who lay
With her legs wide apart in the hay,
        Then, calling the ploughman,
        She said, "Do it now, man!
Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."

There was an old maid from Cape Cod
Who thought all good things came from god.
        But it wasn't the almighty
        Who lifted her nighty,
It was Roger, the lodger, by god.

There was an old man from Bengal
Who liked to do tricks in the hall.
        His favorite trick
        Was to stand on his dick
While he rolled around on one ball.

There was an old man from Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
        He fucked with his nose
        Or his fingers and toes
And he came thru a hole in his tooth.

There was an old man from Fort Drum
Whose son was incredibly dumb.
        When he urged him ahead,
        He went down instead,
For he thought to succeed meant succumb.