Freebsd Limericks

There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
        When asked, "Does it hurt?"
        He relied, "No, it doesn't.
I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."
                -- W.S. Gilbert

There was an old man of Tagore
Whose tool was a yard long or more,
        So he wore the damn thing
        In a surgical sling
To keep it from wiping the floor.

There was an Old Man of the Mountain
Who frigged himself into a fountain
        Fifteen times had he spent,
        Still he wasn't content,
He simply got tired of the counting.

There was an old man of the port
Whose prick was remarkably short.
        When he got into bed,
        The old woman said,
"That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"

There was an old man of the port
Whose prick was remarkably short.
        When he got into bed,
        The old woman said,
"This isn't a prick; it's a wart!"

There was an old man of the port
Whose prick was remarkably short.
     When he got into bed,
     The old woman said,
"That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"

There was an old man who said, "Tush!
My balls always hang in the brush,
        And I fumble about,
        Half in and half out,
With a pecker as limber as mush."

There was an old man with a beard
Who said, "It is just what I feared!
        Two owls and a hen,
        Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard!"

There was an old person of Ware
Who had an affair with a bear.
        He explained, "I don't mind,
        For it's gentle and kind,
But I wish it had slightly less hair."

There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rhumba on skates
        He fell on his cutlass
        Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.