Freebsd Limericks

A headstrong young woman in Ealing
Threw her two weeks' old child at the ceiling;
        When quizzed why she did,
        She replied, "To be rid
Of a strange, overpowering feeling."
                -- Edward Gorey

A hearty young fellow named Yost
Once had an affair with a ghost.
        At the height of the spasm
        The poor ectoplasm
Cried, "Goodie, I feel it ... almost."

A hearty young fellow named Yost
Once had an affair with a ghost.
        At the height of the spasm
        The poor ectoplasm
Cried, "Goodie, I feel it... almost."

A hidebound young virgin named Carrie
Would say, when the fellows got hairy :
        "Keep your prick in your pants
        Till the end of this dance--"
Which is why Carrie still has her cherry.

A highly aesthetic young Jew
Had eyes of a heavenly blue;
        The end of his dillie
        Was shaped like a lilly,
And his balls were too utterly two!

A highway patrol buff named Claire,
Once screwed half a troop on a dare,
        And her parts grew so hot,
        There was steam on her twat,
So they nicknamed her Smokey the Bare!

A horny young fellow named Reg,
Was jerking off under a hedge.
        The gardener drew near
        With a huge pruning shear,
And trimmed off the edge of his wedge.

A huge-organed female in Dallas,
Named Alice, who yearned for a phallus,
        Was virgo intacto,
        Because, ipso facto,
No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.

A joker who haunts Monticello
Is really a terrible fellow.
        In the midst of caresses
        He fills ladies dresses
With garter snakes, ice cubes, and jello.

A lacklustre lady of Brougham
Weaveth all night at her loom.
        Anon she doth blench
        When her lord and his wench
Pull a chain in the neighbouring room.