Freebsd Limericks

Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smith he sat,
        Amusing himself
        By abusing himself
And catching the load in his hat.

Une joile epousetta a Tours
Voulait de gig-gig tous le jours.
        Mais le mari disait, "Non!
        De trop n'est pas bon!
Mon derriere exige du secours!"

Visas erat: huic geminarum
Dispar modus testicularum:
        Minor haec nihili,
        Palma triplici,
Jam fecerat altera clarum.

We dedicate this to the cunt,
The kind the broad-minded guys hunt :
        All hail to the twat,
        Willing, thrilling, and hot,
That wears peckers down, limp and blunt!

When I was a baby, my penis
Was as white as the buttocks of Venus.
        But now 'this as red
        As her nipples instead--
All because of the feminie genus!

When they asked a pert baggage name Alice,
Who'd been bedded and banged in the palace,
        "Was he modest or vain?"
        "Was he regal or plain?"
She replied, "He's a jolly good phallus!"

When you fuck little Annie in Anza
You get a great bossom bonanza:
        Sucking Annie's soft tits
        Makes her throw fifty fits,
And the fuck is a sextravaganza!

While his duchess lay practically dead,
The Duke of Daguerrodargue said:
        "Can it be this is all?
        How puny! How small!
Have destroyed this disgrace to my bed."
                -- Edward Gorey

While I, with my usual enthusiasm,
Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
        She explained, "They are flat,
        But think nothing of that --
You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm."

While out on a date in his Fiat,
The man exclaimed "Where's my key at?"
        As he bent down to seek,
        She let out a shriek:
"That's not where it's likely to be at."