Freebsd Limericks

When I was a baby, my penis
Was as white as the buttocks of Venus.
        But now 'this as red
        As her nipples instead--
All because of the feminie genus!

When they asked a pert baggage name Alice,
Who'd been bedded and banged in the palace,
        "Was he modest or vain?"
        "Was he regal or plain?"
She replied, "He's a jolly good phallus!"

When you fuck little Annie in Anza
You get a great bossom bonanza:
        Sucking Annie's soft tits
        Makes her throw fifty fits,
And the fuck is a sextravaganza!

While his duchess lay practically dead,
The Duke of Daguerrodargue said:
        "Can it be this is all?
        How puny! How small!
Have destroyed this disgrace to my bed."
                -- Edward Gorey

While I, with my usual enthusiasm,
Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
        She explained, "They are flat,
        But think nothing of that --
You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm."

While out on a date in his Fiat,
The man exclaimed "Where's my key at?"
        As he bent down to seek,
        She let out a shriek:
"That's not where it's likely to be at."

While spending the winter at Pau
Lady Pamela forgot to say "No."
        So the head-porter made her
        And the second-cook laid her;
The waiters were all hanging low.

While Titian was mixing rose madder,
His model reclined on a ladder.
        Her position to Titian
        Suggested coition,
So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

While travelling in farthest Tibet,
Lord Irongate found cause to regret
        The buttered-up tea,
        A pain in his knee,
And the frivolous tourists he met.
                -- Edward Gorey

Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and you slouch.
        You can't take your women
        Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch.