Freebsd Limericks

While out on a date in his Fiat,
The man exclaimed "Where's my key at?"
        As he bent down to seek,
        She let out a shriek:
"That's not where it's likely to be at."

While spending the winter at Pau
Lady Pamela forgot to say "No."
        So the head-porter made her
        And the second-cook laid her;
The waiters were all hanging low.

While Titian was mixing rose madder,
His model reclined on a ladder.
        Her position to Titian
        Suggested coition,
So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

While travelling in farthest Tibet,
Lord Irongate found cause to regret
        The buttered-up tea,
        A pain in his knee,
And the frivolous tourists he met.
                -- Edward Gorey

Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and you slouch.
        You can't take your women
        Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch.

With his penis in turgid erection,
And aimed at woman's mid-section,
        Man looks most uncouth
        In that Moment of Truth,
But she sheathes it with loving affection.

You Women's Lib gals won't agree,
But dependent on men you must be:
        You'll need a him
        With a rod firm and trim,
To puggle your water-drains free!

Young Frederick the great was a beaut.
To a guard he cried, "Hey, man, you're cute.
        If you'll come to my palace,
        I'll finger your phallus,
And then I shall blow on your flute."

You've heard of the bishop of Birmingham,
Well, here's the new story concerning 'im :
        He buggers the choir
        As they sing "Ave Maria,"
And fucks all the girls whilst confirming 'em.