Linux Definitions

The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
        If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!
                -- Jim Warner

The Seventh Commandments for Technicians:
        Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow
        workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other
        ways.

The Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:
        The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a
        direction you did not want.   (Goes the wrong way = Goes a long way.)
                -- Dan Roddick

The Third Law of Photography:
        If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined
        when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of
        the dark leaks out.

The three biggest software lies:
        (1) *Of course* we'll give you a copy of the source.
        (2) *Of course* the third party vendor we bought that from
            will fix the microcode.
        (3) Beta test site?  No, *of course* you're not a beta test site.

The three laws of thermodynamics:
        (1) You can't get anything without working for it.
        (2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
        (3) You can only break even at absolute zero.

Theorem: a cat has nine tails.
Proof:
        No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat.
        Therefore, a cat has nine tails.

Theorem: All positive integers are equal.
Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
        Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
        (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.

Proceed by induction:
        If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1.
        So A = B.

Assume that the theorem is true for some value k.  Take A and B with
        MAX(A, B) = k+1.  Then  MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k.  And hence
        (A-1) = (B-1).  Consequently, A = B.

Theory of Selective Supervision:
        The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is
        the one time the boss walks through the office.

theory, n.:
        System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
        originality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good
        it will look in print.