Linux Definitions

The three biggest software lies:
        (1) *Of course* we'll give you a copy of the source.
        (2) *Of course* the third party vendor we bought that from
            will fix the microcode.
        (3) Beta test site?  No, *of course* you're not a beta test site.

The three laws of thermodynamics:
        (1) You can't get anything without working for it.
        (2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
        (3) You can only break even at absolute zero.

Theorem: a cat has nine tails.
Proof:
        No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat.
        Therefore, a cat has nine tails.

Theorem: All positive integers are equal.
Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
        Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
        (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.

Proceed by induction:
        If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1.
        So A = B.

Assume that the theorem is true for some value k.  Take A and B with
        MAX(A, B) = k+1.  Then  MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k.  And hence
        (A-1) = (B-1).  Consequently, A = B.

Theory of Selective Supervision:
        The one time in the day that you lean back and relax is
        the one time the boss walks through the office.

theory, n.:
        System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
        originality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good
        it will look in print.

There are three ways to get something done:
        (1) Do it yourself.
        (2) Hire someone to do it for you.
        (3) Forbid your kids to do it.

Those lovable Brits department:
        They also have trouble pronouncing `vitamin'.

Three rules for sounding like an expert:
        (1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
        (2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out
            when they can be ignored.
        (3) Come up with three rules of your own.

Thyme's Law:
        Everything goes wrong at once.