Linux Definitions

Immutability, Three Rules of:
        (1)  If a tarpaulin can flap, it will.
        (2)  If a small boy can get dirty, he will.
        (3)  If a teenager can go out, he will.

Impartial, adj.:
        Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
        espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two
        conflicting opinions.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

inbox, n.:
        A catch basin for everything you don't want to deal with, but
        are afraid to throw away.

incentive program, n.:
        The system of long and short-term rewards that a corporation uses
        to motivate its people.  Still, despite all the experimentation with
        profit sharing, stock options, and the like, the most effective
        incentive program to date seems to be "Do a good job and you get to
        keep it."

Incumbent, n.:
        Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

index, n.:
        Alphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an
        alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.

Infancy, n.:
        The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies
        about us."  The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Information Center, n.:
        A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to
        tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

Information Processing:
        What you call data processing when people are so disgusted with
        it they won't let it be discussed in their presence.

Ingrate, n.:
        A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
        indigestion.