Linux Definitions

incentive program, n.:
        The system of long and short-term rewards that a corporation uses
        to motivate its people.  Still, despite all the experimentation with
        profit sharing, stock options, and the like, the most effective
        incentive program to date seems to be "Do a good job and you get to
        keep it."

Incumbent, n.:
        Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

index, n.:
        Alphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an
        alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.

Infancy, n.:
        The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies
        about us."  The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Information Center, n.:
        A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to
        tell you why you cannot have the information you require.

Information Processing:
        What you call data processing when people are so disgusted with
        it they won't let it be discussed in their presence.

Ingrate, n.:
        A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
        indigestion.

ink, n.:
        A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic,
        and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of
        idiocy and promote intellectual crime.
                -- H.L. Mencken

innovate, v.:
        To annoy people.

insecurity, n.:
        Finding out that you've mispronounced for years one of your
        favorite words.

        Realizing halfway through a joke that you're telling it to
        the person who told it to you.