Linux Definitions

Jones' Motto:
        Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Jones' Second Law:
        The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
        to blame it on.

Juall's Law on Nice Guys:
        Nice guys don't always finish last; sometimes they don't finish.
        Sometimes they don't even get a chance to start!

Justice, n.:
        A decision in your favor.

Kafka's Law:
        In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
                -- Franz Kafka, "RS's 1974 Expectation of Days"

Karlson's Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
        For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
        package of snack food.

Gibson the Cat's Corrolary:
        For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson's package
        of lunch meat.

Katz' Law:
        Men and nations will act rationally when
        all other possibilities have been exhausted.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have
exhausted all other alternatives.
                -- Abba Eban

Kaufman's First Law of Party Physics:
        Population density is inversely proportional
        to the square of the distance from the keg.

Kaufman's Law:
        A policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence
        of a single incident, in which that incident is never mentioned.

Keep in mind always the four constant Laws of Frisbee:
        (1) The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc
           straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this
           force is technically termed "car suck").
        (2) Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive
           than "Watch this!"
        (3) The probability of a Frisbee hitting something is directly
           proportional to the cost of hitting it.  For instance, a
           Frisbee will always head directly towards a policeman or
           a little old lady rather than the beat up Chevy.
        (4) Your best throw happens when no one is watching; when the
           cute girl you've been trying to impress is watching, the
           Frisbee will invariably bounce out of your hand or hit you
           in the head and knock you silly.