Linux Definitions

Bachelor:
        A man who chases women and never Mrs. one.

Backward conditioning:
        Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.

Bagbiter:
        1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually intermittently.  2.
adj.: Failing hardware or software.  "This bagbiting system won't let me get
out of spacewar." Usage: verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one
may speak of "biting the bag".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS,
BLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.

Bagdikian's Observation:
        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper
        is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a ukelele.

Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
        A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by
        governors.

Ballistophobia:
        Fear of bullets;
Otophobia:
        Fear of opening one's eyes.
Peccatophobia:
        Fear of sinning.
Taphephobia:
        Fear of being buried alive.
Sitophobia:
        Fear of food.
Trichophobbia:
        Fear of hair.
Vestiphobia:
        Fear of clothing.

Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb:
        The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon
        by the bee.

Banectomy, n.:
        The removal of bruises on a banana.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Barach's Rule:
        An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.

Barbara's Rules of Bitter Experience:
        (1) When you empty a drawer for his clothes
            and a shelf for his toiletries, the relationship ends.
        (2) When you finally buy pretty stationary
            to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.