Linux Definitions

The Gordian Maxim:
        If a string has one end, it has another.

The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog:
        The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship,
        his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks.
        Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of
        time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp
        Hedgehog Eater.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

The Heineken Uncertainty Principle:
        You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

The history of warfare is similarly subdivided, although here the phases
are Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy.  Thus:

Retribution:
        I'm going to kill you because you killed my brother.
Anticipation:
        I'm going to kill you because I killed your brother.
Diplomacy:
        I'm going to kill my brother and then kill you on the
        pretext that your brother did it.

The Illiterati Programus Canto 1:
        A program is a lot like a nose: Sometimes it runs, and
        sometimes it blows.

The Kennedy Constant:
        Don't get mad -- get even.

The Law of the Letter:
        The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the envelope.

The Marines:
        The few, the proud, the dead on the beach.

The Marines:
        The few, the proud, the not very bright.

The Modelski Chain Rule:
(1)     Look intently at the problem for several minutes.  Scratch your
        head at 20-30 second intervals.  Try solving the problem on your
        Hewlett-Packard.
(2)     Failing this, look around at the class.  Select a particularly
        bright-looking individual.
(3)     Procure a large chain.
(4)     Walk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely
        with the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.
        Generally, he will.  It may also be a good idea to give him a sound
        thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.