| Linux Definitions: 998 of 1105 |
The Modelski Chain Rule:
(1) Look intently at the problem for several minutes. Scratch your
head at 20-30 second intervals. Try solving the problem on your
Hewlett-Packard.
(2) Failing this, look around at the class. Select a particularly
bright-looking individual.
(3) Procure a large chain.
(4) Walk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely
with the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.
Generally, he will. It may also be a good idea to give him a sound
thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
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| Linux Definitions: 999 of 1105 |
The most dangerous organization in America today is:
(a) The KKK
(b) The American Nazi Partylove
(c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
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| Linux Definitions: 1000 of 1105 |
The Official MBA Handbook on business cards:
Avoid overly pretentious job titles such as "Lord of the Realm,
Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India" or "Director of Corporate
Planning."
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| Linux Definitions: 1001 of 1105 |
The Official MBA Handbook on doing company business on an airplane:
Do not work openly on top-secret company cost documents unless
you have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you
is blind, a rock musician on mood-ameliorating drugs, or the
unfortunate possessor of a forty-seventh chromosome.
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| Linux Definitions: 1002 of 1105 |
The Official MBA Handbook on the use of sunlamps:
Use a sunlamp only on weekends. That way, if the office wise guy
remarks on the sudden appearance of your tan, you can fabricate
some story about a sun-stroked weekend at some island Shangri-La
like Caneel Bay. Nothing is more transparent than leaving the
office at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun
god at 8:15 the next morning.
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| Linux Definitions: 1003 of 1105 |
The Phone Booth Rule:
A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
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| Linux Definitions: 1004 of 1105 |
The qotc (quote of the con) was Liz's:
"My brain is paged out to my liver."
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| Linux Definitions: 1005 of 1105 |
The real man's Bloody Mary:
Ingredients: vodka, tomato juice, Tobasco, Worcestershire
sauce, A-1 steak sauce, ice, salt, pepper, celery.
Fill a large tumbler with vodka.
Throw all the other ingredients away.
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| Linux Definitions: 1006 of 1105 |
The Roman Rule:
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the
one who is doing it.
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| Linux Definitions: 1007 of 1105 |
The rules:
(1) Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.
(2) Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while
sitting at the console keyboard.
(3) Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly
little card decks together.
(4) Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,
especially if you're already married.
(5) Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk
pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.
(6) Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one
eight hour shift.
(7) Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their
files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.
(8) Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.
(9) Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.
(10) Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".
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