Daily Fortunes

Apr 3, 2015

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. --...
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller, "Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints"

Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your...
Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. -- Nelson Algren

Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your...
Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck `Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die'. I didn't know what...

New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels...
New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and his wife most often reminds him to act it. -- Webster's Unafraid Dictionary

No friendship is so cordial or so delicious as that of girl...
No friendship is so cordial or so delicious as that of girl for girl; no hatred so intense or immovable as that of woman for woman. -- Landor

Daily Fortunes for Apr 3, 2015

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