Daily Fortunes

Apr 29, 2015

Do not drink coffee in early A.M. It will keep you awake until...
Do not drink coffee in early A.M. It will keep you awake until noon.

Do not worry about which side your bread is buttered on:...
Do not worry about which side your bread is buttered on: you eat BOTH sides.

Do you feel personally responsible for the world food...
Do you feel personally responsible for the world food shortage? Every time you go to the beach, does the tide come in? Have you ever eaten an entire moose? Can you see your neck? Do joggers take laps around you for exercise? If so, welcome to National Fat Week. This week...

During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried...
During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm. He stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an agressive Rhode Island Red hopped on top. Seeing this, the farmer commented, "Chicken catch a Tory!"

Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it...
Eat as much as you like -- just don't swallow it. -- Harry Secombe's diet

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