Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the year 2011

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must...
"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -- Carl Sagan, Cosmos

Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux Se gyrent...
Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave, Enm^im'es sont les gougebosquex, Et le m^omerade horgrave. -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"

In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer...
In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

ALASKA: A prelude to "No."
ALASKA: A prelude to "No."

Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for...
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation. -- Lord Thomas Dewar

I've always considered statesmen to be more expendable than...
I've always considered statesmen to be more expendable than soldiers.

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful...
There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful ass - It was not round and pink ( as you bastards think ) But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!