Humor: Best of Fortunes for the year 2008

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence...
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -- H.L. Mencken

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have...
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. -- Ernest Hemingway

If you fail to plan, plan to fail.
If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

So this is what it feels like to be potato salad
So this is what it feels like to be potato salad

A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside...
A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside is hid. -- J.R. Tolkien

Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex...
Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood, Stop up the access and passage to remorse That no compunctious visiting of nature Shake my fell...

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs...
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. -- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926

What one fool can do, another can. -- Ancient...
What one fool can do, another can. -- Ancient Simian Proverb

A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My...
A certain young sheik of Algiers Said to his harem, "My dears, Though you may think it odd of me, I'm tired of just sodomy Let's try straight fucking." (loud cheers!)