Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the year 2008

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with...
There was a young lady of Gaza Who shaved her cunt bare with a razor. The crabs, in a lump, Made tracks to her rump - This passing parade did amaze her.

There was an old man of Brienz The length of whose cock...
There was an old man of Brienz The length of whose cock was immense: With one swerve he could plug A boy's bottom in Zug, And a kitchen-maid's cunt in Coblenz.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built...
If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? -- Richard Nixon

In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your...
In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots

Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the root of all wealth.

You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close...
You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to metal objects which are not fastened down.

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed...
A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family. -- Saul Alinsky

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive mind...
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over ...