Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the year 2007

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves And as in uffish...
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves And as in uffish thought he stood Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame All mimsy were the borogroves Came whuffling through the tulgey wood And the mome raths outgrabe...

Every solution breeds new problems.
Every solution breeds new problems.

... we must be wary of granting too much power to natural...
... we must be wary of granting too much power to natural selection by viewing all basic capacities of our brain as direct adaptations. I do not doubt that natural selection acted in building our oversized brains -- and I am equally confident that...

Margaret, are you grieving Over Goldengrove unleaving? Leaves,...
Margaret, are you grieving Over Goldengrove unleaving? Leaves, like the things of man, You, with your fresh thoughts Care for, can you? Ah! as the heart grows older It will come to such sights colder By and by, nor spare a sigh Though worlds of wanwood...

"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac,...
"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat...

Five names that I can hardly stand to hear, Including yours...
Five names that I can hardly stand to hear, Including yours and mine and one more chimp who isn't here, I can see the ladies talking how the times is gettin' hard, And that fearsome excavation on Magnolia boulevard, Yes, I'm goin' insane, And I'm...

God is not dead! He's alive and autographing Bibles at Cody's!
God is not dead! He's alive and autographing Bibles at Cody's!

Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned...
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt.

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

There was a young man from Seattle Whose testicles tended...
There was a young man from Seattle Whose testicles tended to rattle. He said as he fuck-ed Some stones in a bucket, "If Stravinsky won't deafen you -- that'll."