There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different...There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different sizes.
One was so small,
It was nothing at all;
The other took numerous prizes.
There were three ladies of Huxham,
And whenever we meets 'em...There were three ladies of Huxham,
And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,
And when that game grows stale
We sits on a rail,
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.
A beautiful lady named Psyche
Is loved by a fellow named Ikey...A beautiful lady named Psyche
Is loved by a fellow named Ikey.
One thing about Ike
The lady can't like
Is his prick, which is dreadfully spikey.
A burlesque dancer, a pip
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
...A burlesque dancer, a pip
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
But she read science fiction
And died of constriction
Attempting a Moebius strip.
-- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"
There once was a Duchess of Bruges
Whose cunt was incredibly...There once was a Duchess of Bruges
Whose cunt was incredibly huge.
Said the king to this dame
As he thunderously came:
"Mon Dieu! Apres moi, le deluge!"
There once was a girl from Spokane,
Went to bed with...There once was a girl from Spokane,
Went to bed with a one-legged man.
She said, "I know you--
You've really got two!
Why didn't you say so when we began?"
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to...There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's sun, Jack,
Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.
There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat,...There was a young girl who begat
Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat.
T'was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
When she found there's no tit for Tat.
There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to...There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught on fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section, and all.
There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that...There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.