There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like...There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like a young boy
Though it tickled to kiss
'Twas a source of much bliss
When she used it to brush a man's toy.
There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what...There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what it meant
When men asked her to dine,
And plied her with wine,
She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!
There once was a man from Madras,
Whose balls were made out...There once was a man from Madras,
Whose balls were made out of brass.
When they clanged together,
They played "Stormy Weather",
And lightning shot out of his ass.
There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of different...There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes.
His tool when at ease,
Hung down to his knees,
Oh, what must it be when it rises!
There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town...There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town in an Austin,
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.
A playful young chemist named Byrd
Had an urge that could...A playful young chemist named Byrd
Had an urge that could not be deferred.
So to irritate Knox
He shit in his sox,
And plastered the walls with his turd.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long...There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who swallowed a package...There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were all covered with weeds.
There was a young fellow of Kent
Whose prick was so long that...There was a young fellow of Kent
Whose prick was so long that it bent,
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.
There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different...There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different sizes.
One was so small,
It was nothing at all;
The other took numerous prizes.