There once was a man named Parridge
With peculiar views...There once was a man named Parridge
With peculiar views on marriage.
He sucked off his brother,
Fucked his own mother,
And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.
There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town...There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town in an Austin,
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.
There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years...There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years for his chance;
Then he muffed it...
There once was a man from Madras,
Whose balls were made out...There once was a man from Madras,
Whose balls were made out of brass.
When they clanged together,
They played "Stormy Weather",
And lightning shot out of his ass.
There once was a man named Lodge,
who had seatbelts installed...There once was a man named Lodge,
who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
When his date was strapped in,
He committed a sin,
without ever leaving the garage.
There was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who brought grain to the mill...There was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with.
The miller's son Jack
Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.
There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who deflowered young...There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em.
As they knelt on the hassock
He lifted his cassock
And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long...There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
There once was a man named McGruder,
Who canoed with a girl...There once was a man named McGruder,
Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder.
But the girl thought it crude,
To be wooed in the nude,
So McGru took an oar and subduder.
There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that...There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.