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Daily Fortunes

May 14, 2007

Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.
Toothpaste never hurts the taste of good scotch.

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched...
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. "One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure knows when to stop."

Vermouth always makes me brilliant unless it makes me idiotic...
Vermouth always makes me brilliant unless it makes me idiotic. -- E.F. Benson

We don't smoke and we don't chew, and we don't go with girls...
We don't smoke and we don't chew, and we don't go with girls that do. -- Walter Summers

What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? --...
What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? -- J.D. Farley


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