|Freebsd Limericks: 271 of 860|
An old maid who had a pet ape
Lived in fear of perpetual rape.
His red, hairy phallus
So filled her with malice
That she sealed up her snatch with Scotch tape.
|Freebsd Limericks: 272 of 860|
An old man at the Folies Bergere
Had a jock, a most wondrous affair:
It snipped off a twat-curl
From each new chorus girl,
And he had a wig made of the hair.
|Freebsd Limericks: 273 of 860|
An organist playing in York
Had a prick that could hold a small fork,
And between obbligatos
He'd munch at tomatoes,
To keep up his strength while at work.
|Freebsd Limericks: 274 of 860|
An orgasmic young sex star named Sue
Was a hit as she writhed to a screw.
Her climatic fame spread
With an ad blitz that said:
Coming soon at a theater near you!
|Freebsd Limericks: 275 of 860|
An uptight young lady named Breerley
Who valued her morals too dearly
Had sex, so I hear,
Only once every year,
And she strained her vagina severely.
|Freebsd Limericks: 276 of 860|
And earnest young woman in Thrace
Said, "Darling, that's not the right place!"
So he gave her a thwack,
And did on her back,
What he couldn't have done face to face.
|Freebsd Limericks: 277 of 860|
And then there's the story that's fraught
With disaster -- of balls that got caught,
When a chap took a crap
In the woods, and a trap
Underneath... Oh, I can't bear the thought!
|Freebsd Limericks: 278 of 860|
As for weirdness, the guy who's the tops
Is a kinky old butcher named Pops.
Since he thinks it's effete
To be beating his meat,
What he's into is licking his chops.
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As he came in his chubby choirboy,
Father Burke said, "There's no greater joy!
If no sodomy levens
And possible heavens,
Existence will merely annoy."
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As the breeches-buoy swing towards the rocks,
Its occupant cried, "Save my socks!
I could not bear the loss,
For with scarlet silk floss
My mama has embroidered their clocks."
-- Edward Gorey