Freebsd Limericks

A farmer I know named O'Doole
Had a long and incredible tool.
        He can use it to plow,
        Or to diddle a cow,
Or just as a cue-stick at pool.

A fellatrix's healthful condition
Proved the value of spunk as nutrition.
        Her remarkable diet
        (I suggest that you try it)
Was only her clients' emission.

A fellow whose surname was Hunt
Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt:
        This versatile spout
        Could be turned inside out,
Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

A fisherman off of Cape Cod
Said, "I'll bugger that tuna, by God!"
        But the high-minded fish
        Resented his wish,
And nimbly swam off with his rod.

A foolish geologist from Kissen
Just didn't know what he was missin',
        By studying rock
        And neglecting his cock,
And using it merely for pissin'.

A Frenchman who lived in Alsace
Had sex with a virgin named Grace.
        When he popped her cherry,
        She made things hairy
By bleeding all over his face.

A frustrated lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
        They found her vagina
        In North Carolina
And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A gay young prince from Morocco
Made love in a manner rococco.
        He painted his penis
        To resemble a venus
And flavored his semen with cocoa.

A geneticist living in Delft
Scientifically played with himself,
        And when he was done
        He labled it: son,
And filed him away on a shelf.

A geneticist living in Delft
Scientifically played with himself,
        And when he was done
        He labled it: son,
And filed him away on a shelf.
A gentleman, otherwise meek,
Detested with passion the leek;
        When offered one out
        He dealt such a clout
To the maid, she was down for a week.
                -- Edward Gorey