Freebsd Limericks

A wood-fetish busboy named Gable
Is rapid, is thorough, is able;
        But when everything's cleared,
        He gives way to the weird,
As he lovingly busses each table.

A worn-out young husband named Lehr
Her daily his wife's plaintive prayer:
        "Slip on a sheath, quick,
        Then slip your big dick
Between these lips covered with hair."

A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
        Said the doctor, a cynic,
        "Get out of my clinic
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."

A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
        Said the doctor, a cynic,
        "Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"

A young bride and groom of Australia
Remarked as they joined genitalia :
        "Though the system seems odd,
         We are thankful that God
Developed the genus Mammalia."

A young fellow discovered through Freud
That although of penis devoid,
        He could practice coitus
        By eating a foetus,
And his parents were quite overjoyed.

A young Juliet of St. Louis
On a balcony stood acting screwy.
        Her Romeo climbed,
        But he wasn't well timed,
And half-way up, off he went -- blooey!

A young lad named Lester McGraw
Caught a stranger on top of his Maw.
        As he watched him stick her
        He said, with a snicker,
"You do it much faster than Paw."

A young lady sat by the sea,
Just as proper as proper could be.
        A young fellow goosed her,
        And roughly seduced her,
So she thanked him and went home to tea.

A young lady who lived by the Usk
Subsisted each day on a rusk;
        She ate the first bite
        Before it was light,
And the last crumb sometime after dusk.
                -- Edward Gorey