Freebsd Limericks

A desperate spinster from Clare
Once knelt in the moonlight all bare,
        And prayed to her God
        For a romp on the sod--
'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore
Got along with a sexy young sophomore.
        As quick as a glance
        He stripped off his pants,
But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

A doctoral student from Buckingham
Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
        But a dropout from paree
        Taught him Gamahuchee
- so he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

A doctoral student from Buckingham
Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
        But a dropout from paree
        Taught him Gamahuchee
So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice,
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
        She blew her vagina
        To South Carolina,
And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas.

A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill,
Used two dynamite sticks for a dil.
        They found her vagina,
        In South Carolina,
And part of her ass in Brazil.

A dolly in Dallas named Alice,
Whose overworked sex is all callous,
        Wore the foreskin away
        On uncircumcised Ray,
Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
Wished to foster an aura of menace;
        To make people afraid
        He wore gloves of grey suede
And white footgear intended for tennis.
                -- Edward Gorey

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
Wished to foster an aura of menace.
        To make people afraid
        He wore gloves of grey suede
And white footgear intended for tennis.
                -- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"

A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd,
Who's cultured, well-spoken, well-bred,
        Had achieved some reknown
        For her tone going down--
There's a nice civil tongue in her head.

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very, very foolish to place
        Her hand on your cock
        When it turned hard as rock,
For fear it would explode in your face.