Freebsd Limericks

There was a young man named Knute
Who had warts all over his root.
        He put acid on these
        And now when he pees,
He fingers the thing like a flute.

There was a young man named Laplace
Whose balls were made out of spun glass.
        When they banged together
        They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man named McNamiter
With a tool of prodigious diameter.
        But it wasn't the size
        Gave the girls a surprise,
But his rythm -- iambic pentameter.

There was a young man named Rex
Who really was small for his sex.
        When tried for exposure
        The judge's disclosure
Was "de minimus non curat lex."

There was a young man named Zerubbabel
Who had only one real, and one rubber ball.
        When they asked if his pleasure
        Was only half measure,
He replied, "That is highly improbable."

There was a young man named Zerubbabub
Who belonged to the Block, Fuck & Bugger Club
        But the pride of his life
        Were the tits of his wife --
One real, and one India-rubber bub.

There was a young man of Arras
Who stretched himself out on the grass,
        And with no little trouble,
        He bent himself double,
And stuck his prick well up his ass.

There was a young man of Australia
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
        He buggered a frog,
        Two mice and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.

There was a young man of Belgrade
Who remarked, "I'm a queer piece of trade.
        I will suck, without charge,
        Any cock, if it's large.
If it's small, I expect to be paid."

There was a young man of Belgrade
Who slept with a girl in the trade.
        She said to him, "Jack,
        Try the hole in the back;
The front one is badly decayed."