|Freebsd Limericks: 761 of 860|
There was a young woman named Plunnery
Who rejoiced in the practice of gunnery.
Till one day unobservant,
She blew up a servant,
And was forced to retire to a nunnery.
-- Edward Gorey
|Freebsd Limericks: 762 of 860|
There was a young woman named Sutton
Who said, as she carved up the mutton,
"My father preferred
The last sheep in the herd --
This is one of his children I'm cuttin'."
|Freebsd Limericks: 763 of 860|
There was a young woman of Cheadle,
Who once gave the clap to a beadle.
Said she, "Does it itch?"
"It does, you damned bitch,
And it burns like hell-fire when I peedle."
|Freebsd Limericks: 764 of 860|
There was a young woman of Condover
Whose husband had ceased to be fond of 'er.
Her pussy was juicy,
Her arse soft and goosey,
But peroxide had now made a blonde of 'er.
|Freebsd Limericks: 765 of 860|
There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft,
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft.
Said another young woman of Croft,
Amusing herself in the loft,
"A salami or wurst
Is what I'd choose first --
With bologna you know you've been boffed."
|Freebsd Limericks: 766 of 860|
There was a young woman, quite handsome,
Who got stuck in a sleeping room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release, she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom.
|Freebsd Limericks: 767 of 860|
There was a young woman whose stammer
Was atrocious, and so was her grammar;
But they were not improved
When her husband was moved
To knock out her teeth with a hammer.
-- Edward Gorey
|Freebsd Limericks: 768 of 860|
There was an old abbess quite shocked
To find nuns where the candles were locked.
Said the abbess, "You nuns
Should behave more like guns,
And never go off till you're cocked."
|Freebsd Limericks: 769 of 860|
There was an old bishop from Buckingham
Who fell in love with some oysters while shucking 'em.
His wife with distain
Could scarcely restrain
That sprightly old bishop from * * *.
|Freebsd Limericks: 770 of 860|
There was an old count of Swoboda
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So, with great savoir-faire,
She stood on a chair
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.