|Freebsd Limericks: 811 of 860|
There was once a mechanic named Bench
Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench.
With this vibrant device
He could reach, in a trice,
The innermost parts of a wench.
|Freebsd Limericks: 812 of 860|
There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel
Who said, "They can all go to hell!
What they do to my wife--
Why it ruins my life;
And the worst is, they all do it well.
|Freebsd Limericks: 813 of 860|
There were three ladies of Huxham,
And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,
And when that game grows stale
We sits on a rail,
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em.
|Freebsd Limericks: 814 of 860|
There were three young ladies of Birmingham,
And this is the scandal concerning 'em.
They lifted the frock
And tickled the cock
Of the Bishop engaged in confirming 'em.
Now, the Bishop was nobody's fool,
He'd been to a good public school,
So he took down their britches
And buggered those bitches
With his ten-inch episcopal tool.
Then up spoke a lady from Kew,
And said, as the Bishop withdrew,
"The vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker,
And longer and stronger than you."
-- Abuses of the Clergy
|Freebsd Limericks: 815 of 860|
There's a charming young girl in Tobruk
Who refers to her quiff as a nook.
It's deep and it's wide,
-- You can curl up inside
With a nice easy chair and a book.
|Freebsd Limericks: 816 of 860|
There's a charming young lady named Beaulieu
Who's often been screwed by yours truly,
But now--it's appallin'--
My balls always fall in!
I fear that I've fucked her unduly.
|Freebsd Limericks: 817 of 860|
There's a dowager near Sweden Landing
Whose manners are odd and demanding.
It's one of her jests
To suck off her guests --
She hates to keep gentlemen standing.
|Freebsd Limericks: 818 of 860|
There's a lovely young lady named Shittlecock
Who loves to play diddle and fiddle-cock,
But her cunt's got a pucker
That's best not to fuck, or
When least you expect it to, it'll lock.
|Freebsd Limericks: 819 of 860|
There's a rather odd couple in Herts
Who are cousins (or so each asserts);
Their sex is in doubt
For they're never without
Their moustaches and long, trailing skirts.
-- Edward Gorey
|Freebsd Limericks: 820 of 860|
There's a sports-minded coed named Sue,
Who's been coxing the varsity crew.
In the shell Sue is great,
But her boyfriend's irate,
When she calls out the stroke as they screw.