Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday December 21, 2011

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll...
If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich, or famous or both.

Meanehwael, baccat meaddehaele, monstaer lurccen; Fulle few...
Meanehwael, baccat meaddehaele, monstaer lurccen; Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht. [D]en Hreorfneorht[d]hwr, son of Hrwaerow[p]heororthwl, AEsccen aewful jeork to steop outsyd. [P]hud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! [D]e bigge gye Eallum...