Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2023

A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780...
A seafaring hacker named Slatey Went to bed with a VAX/780. The thing's learned to swear With a nautical air, And refers to its users as "matey".

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young fellow of Kent Whose prick was so long that...
There was a young fellow of Kent Whose prick was so long that it bent, So to save himself trouble He put it in double, And instead of coming he went.

There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by...
There was an old man of St. Bees, Who was stung in the arm by a wasp. When asked, "Does it hurt?" He relied, "No, it doesn't. I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A reckless young lady of France Had no qualms about taking...
A reckless young lady of France Had no qualms about taking a chance, But she thought it was crude To get screwed in the nude, So she always went home with damp pants.