Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of August, 2023

Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.

Q: How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in...
Q: How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one. He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.

A team playing baseball in Dallas Called the umpire blind...
A team playing baseball in Dallas Called the umpire blind out of malice. While this worthy had fits The team made eight hits And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.

At Vassar, sex isn't injurious, Though of love we are never...
At Vassar, sex isn't injurious, Though of love we are never penurious. Thanks to vulcanized aids, Though we may die old maids, At least we shall never die curious.

There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep...
There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep in the muff. With his head in a whirl He said, "Spread it, Pearl; I cunt get enough of the stuff!"

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes, Whose balls were of different sizes. One was so small, It was nothing at all; The other took numerous prizes.

A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm...
A beat schizophrenic said, "Me? I am not I, I'm a tree." But another, more sane, Shouted, "I'm a Great Dane!" And covered his pants leg with pee.

A deep-throated virgin named Netty Was sucking a cock on...
A deep-throated virgin named Netty Was sucking a cock on the jetty. She said, "It tastes nice, Much better than rice, Though not quite as good as spaghetti."