Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday October 9, 2006

Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks...
Love's Drug My love is like an iron wand That conks me on the head, My love is like the valium That I take before my bed, My love is like the pint of scotch That I drink when I be dry; And I shall love thee still, my dear, ...

LSD melts in your mind, not in your hand.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hand.

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet...
Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet. -- P.E. Trudeau

Lucky, adj: When you have a wife and a cigarette ...
Lucky, adj: When you have a wife and a cigarette lighter -- both of which work.

Lucy: Dance, dance, dance. That is all you ever do...
Lucy: Dance, dance, dance. That is all you ever do. Can't you be serious for once? Snoopy: She is right! I think I had better think of the more important things in life! (pause) Tomorrow!!

Man is by nature a political animal. --...
Man is by nature a political animal. -- Aristotle

Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, I think I'll go out...
Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, I think I'll go out and eat worms. I'm gonna cut their heads off, Eat their insides out, And throw way the skins. Big, fat, juicy ones, Little, skinny, cute ones, Watch how they wiggle and they squirm.

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13 A: ...
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13 A: Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy Q: Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #15 A: ...
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #15 A: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Q: What was the greatest achievement in taxidermy?

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19 A: ...
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19 A: To be or not to be. Q: What is the square root of 4b^2?

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4 A:...
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4 A: Go west, young man, go west! Q: What do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5 A: ...
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5 A: The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli. Q: Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Sam and Janet...
Knock, knock! Who's there? Sam and Janet. Sam and Janet who? Sam and Janet Evening...