Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2014

There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl...
There once was a man named McGruder, Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder. But the girl thought it crude, To be wooed in the nude, So McGru took an oar and subduder.

He who Laughs, Lasts.
He who Laughs, Lasts.

Love is dope, not chicken soup. I mean, love is something...
Love is dope, not chicken soup. I mean, love is something to be passed around freely, not spooned down someone's throat for their own good by a Jewish mother who cooked it all by herself.

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as...
A chippy who worked in Black Bluff Had a pussy as large as a muff. It had room for both hands And some intimate glands, And was soft as a little duck's fluff.

A scream from the crypt of St. Giles Resounded for miles upon...
A scream from the crypt of St. Giles Resounded for miles upon miles. Said the friar, "Good gracious, The brother Ignatious Forgeteth the abbot hath piles."

A tired young trollop of Nome Was worn out from her toes to...
A tired young trollop of Nome Was worn out from her toes to her dome. Eight miners came screwing, But she said, "Nothing doing; One of you has to go home!"

There once was a Duchess of Bruges Whose cunt was incredibly...
There once was a Duchess of Bruges Whose cunt was incredibly huge. Said the king to this dame As he thunderously came: "Mon Dieu! Apres moi, le deluge!"

There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex,...
There once was a gaucho named Bruno, Who said, "About sex, well, I do know, Sheep are just fine, Chickens, divine, But iguanas are Numero Uno."

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.