Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of April, 2014

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain? A: Lawn...
Q: Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain? A: Lawn Boy.

Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: ...
Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: Because he was hungry.

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A: ...
Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels? A: More head room. Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after having sex? A: She opens...

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, ...
A certain young person of Ghent, Uncertain if lady or gent, Shows his organs at large For a small handling charge To assist him in paying the rent.

A dolly in Dallas named Alice, Whose overworked sex is...
A dolly in Dallas named Alice, Whose overworked sex is all callous, Wore the foreskin away On uncircumcised Ray, Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.

A hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk Made love to the drive...
A hacker-turned-pervert named Fisk Made love to the drive of his disk. The thing circumsized him, Which rather suprised him. He wasn't aware of *that* risk.

A mathematician named Klein Thought the Mobius band...
A mathematician named Klein Thought the Mobius band was divine. Said he, "If you glue The edges of two, You'll get a weird bottle like mine!

A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt...
A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt. But the unlucky wench Got it caught in her trench --- It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench, To get the thing out of her cunt.