Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday March 4, 2022

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young fellow of Burma Whose betrothed had good...
There was a young fellow of Burma Whose betrothed had good reason to murmur. But now that he's married he's Been using cantharides And the root of their love is much firmer.

There was a young lady from Bangor Who slept while the ship...
There was a young lady from Bangor Who slept while the ship lay at anchor She woke in dismay When she heard the mate say: "Let's lift up the topsheet and spanker!"

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.

To his bride said the keen-eyed detective, "Can it be that...
To his bride said the keen-eyed detective, "Can it be that my eyesight's defective? Has the east tit the least bit The best of the west tit, Or is it the faulty perspective?"

You dialed 5483.
You dialed 5483.